Created and edited by three twenty-something female writers in Los Angeles, The Little Black Blog of Big Red Flags provides a place for all those dating warning signs you’ve totally spotted but chose to ignore. While the site began with just the editors’ red flag stories about their ex-boyfriends (and guys they were currently sleeping with), it’s now an updated-daily collection of both men and women’s most revealing stories, which readers can submit right on the site.
After going through guys’ most cringe-worthy submissions, The Little Black Blog’s editors, Natasha Burton, Julie Fishman and Meagan McCrary chose these top offenses women commit:
1. She constantly accuses you of cheating.
The Story: Out of nowhere, my girlfriend of three years started grilling me about the various female friends writing on my Facebook wall. At the time, I was on a co-ed flag-football team and had some close female friends on it with me, a detail my girl and I’d discussed and she claimed to be okay with. Still, she started sending me emails once or twice a day with one of the female friend’s completely platonic posts pasted at the top and a thorough inquiry at the bottom. I found out later that, during those weeks, when she said she was at the library writing her graduate thesis, she was actually sleeping with her best guy friend. As they say, those who are overly suspicious have the most to hide.
2. She’s obsessed with getting hitched
The Story: After I broke up with my ex, I found a folder on my computer titled "wedding." Inside were pictures of engagement rings, Excel spreadsheets of venues, even an email conversation with a wedding planner. We were 24 at the time and had only been dating a year. Not once did we have a discussion about our long-term future, let alone marriage. Obviously, this totally confirmed my decision to get out of the relationship.
3. She’s a home wrecker
The Story: It goes without saying that dipping your pen in the company ink is never a good idea. Of course, against my better judgment, I started a casual relationship with a fellow employee. Things seemed to be going pretty well, however, before too long the girl put a stop to the relationship without any real explanation. Months later she confessed that from the moment we met (and during the time we were seeing each other) she had been having an affair with our married boss. If a girl is willing to have an affair with her boss, a man who has children, well, that's a big red flag you can see from space.
4. She’s mean to you in front of her friends.
The Story: I had to cancel two dates in a row with this girl I was seeing because of work obligations. When I finally had a free night, she invited me out with a group of her friends. Over drinks, she proceeded to verbally castrate me in front of her gal pals for canceling our previous dates and, when she had exhausted that topic, she went on to knock my drink choice and my career path. First, I understand it was prickish of me to cancel our dates, but life happens and, come on, forgive me if my career takes precedence over a girl I just started dating. Second, don't invite me out for drinks so you can put me down and make me feel like shit in front of your audience of friends. And third, when I leave for the evening, don't let those half dozen drinks you guzzled down obscure your behavior and then try to make out with me in the parking lot.
5. She doesn’t know when it’s time to leave.
The Story: It was 10 in the morning after a particularly drunk one-nighter and I was in bed wide-awake and ready to start my day. Soon enough, the chick rolled over, looked at me and asked me what I was thinking (ugh). The conversation then went as follows:
Me: I'm ready to start my day, gotta get some stuff going.
Girl: Cool. (rolls back over)
Me: Yeah I gotta clean and do my laundry.
Girl: Great
Me: I'm doing whites. (My sheets are white)
Girl: Okay.
Me: Like now.
Girl: Seriously? Can I get back into your freshly made bed after?
Me: I'd rather you didn't.
No, you cannot get back in my freshly made bed since the reason I am washing my sheets is because they touched your body. Seriously why are you still here? I made a mistake. I am not buying you breakfast. Leave.
6. She consults her mom on everything
The Story: My ex-girlfriend had this annoying habit of calling her mom for literally anything and everything. Not sure which dryer setting would be best? She’d call mom. Which salad dressing should she choose? That’s a mom call. Should we move in together? Mom will know! I understand mothers and daughters like to share a lot but it was like this chick couldn’t make any decision herself. If I wanted her mom’s opinion, I’d just date her. (Not a bad idea, actually, she happened to be a total MILF).
7. She’s ungrateful.
The Story: One morning I made breakfast for my girlfriend, who I was living with at the time. I was putting something into the oven very slowly, as not to burn myself. We had a tiny, narrow kitchen and the oven was at the entrance, so when my girlfriend told me she wanted a glass of water, I asked her to wait for just a second until I finished, because she wouldn't have been able to squeeze by. Apparently, I wasn't doing things quickly enough and she couldn't wait, so, after yelling at me, she ended up going to get the water herself and pushed me as she went by, right into the oven. At least I got out of the relationship withjust a burn scar on my hand... it could’ve been worse.
8. She sends mixed messages.
The Story: Invited to a Halloween party by this chick who was, I thought, just a friend, we ended up back at her place sitting side-by-side talking on the couch. Well, she kept getting up to attend to god knows what, landing a little bit closer to me every time she sat back down. (Naturally I had my arm out inviting her in.) Soon we were cuddling, and as the night went on it started to feel kind of romantic. Eventually, I worked up the nerve to make a move only to be rejected. She said that it was weird because we were friends, and that she didn't want things to be awkward between us. I agreed that I didn’t want things to get complicated, but that if she didn’t want me to make a move, why were we snuggling on her couch after two a.m.?
9. She sends no messages
The Story: Upon breaking up with me, my girlfriend of three years let me know that I did not know my way around the vagina. It was quite a blow to the ego. I'd only slept with one other girl before her. Why hadn't she simply given me some direction one of the two hundred times I went down on her or five hundred times we'd had sex? I certainly would have worked on it if I knew there was a problem - all I had to go on were her groans, which sounded good. Girls: if you do not tell us how you like things done, we'll just guess and probably get it wrong. Believe me, we won't be upset when you guide our hand or direct our tongues - we'll be psyched that we can get you off quicker and know you're enjoying it as much as possible.
10. She doesn’t “do blowjobs.”
The Story: I once dated this chick who stopped blowing me after a few months because she, "didn't like the taste." No offense, but that labyrinth you call your vagina doesn't taste like sweet, delicious candy. If you don't want to drop to your knees anymore, you probably shouldn't expect me to have any more dinners at the Y.