With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, FHM is here with third generation matchmaker Patti Stanger, star of Bravo’s hit television show “The Millionaire Matchmaker” and the CEO of www.MillionairesClub123.com, to help you avoid the biggest dating pitfalls.
Since founding the Millionaire's Club in January of 2000, Patti has parlayed her success as a matchmaker into a television show and a book, “How To Become Your Own Matchmaker” from Simon & Schuster.
To get you ready for Valentine's Day and the second season premiere of "The Millionaire Matchmaker", Patti shares with us the five biggest dating mistakes guys make, and how to avoid them.
1. Being Cheap
It is critical that the man chooses a nice restaurant, tips well after the meal, tips the valet and/or offers car service. If you don’t know the restaurants in the area – don’t be lazy… google it!
Message it sends to a woman: I don’t value you as much as other things in life, I’m not in control of my own life (women love a man that takes charge) or I simply don’t care.
How to fix it: Think ahead, have reservations and make the impression you would want made on you. Don’t plan a night out you can’t afford… or afford to not do it right.
2. Not being assertive or chivalrous
The man should open the door for his date, pull out the seat for her to sit down, compliment her, let her order first, etc. Manners go a long way, and having the man take the masculine lead sets the tone of confidence and security.
Message it sends to a woman: If bad manners are a man at his best behavior, things will definitely get worse when both become more comfortable with each other. This sends the message that he has poor social skills and/or is not confident.
How to fix it: Brush up your social skills with friends or family. Research appropriate etiquette online. Ask her out for a specific day… a WEEKEND day. BE CONFIDENT.
3. Not calling the girl back in a timely manner
This is imperative for healthy dating. If the man does not follow up within three days (NOT the same night), it shows he is either not interested, unorganized, dating many females, or too busy with work and/or other activities. A phone call only takes a few minutes, and shows that the man wants to continue the relationship.
Message it sends a woman: “I’m not interested”, “I have a stable of women”, or possibly “I’m a workaholic”.
How to fix it: If you don’t like the woman, don’t send mixed messages such as talking about future dates and not following through. If you do mention future outings, ask the girl out at the end of the first date. Call her within three days to confirm. Remember, phone tag, emails and/or texting can be impersonal.
4. Wanting sex too fast
This is the age-old dilemma, but vital for continued healthy dating. Both sexes know the drill, but if the sex occurs too quickly, it sends the wrong message to both parties. NO YUMMY YUMMY ON THE FIRST DATE!
Message it sends a woman: Either “I just want sex”, or “I’m not really serious about a relationship”, or worse, “You are another notch on my belt”.
How to fix it: Simply wait until you are in a serious, monogamous relationship.
5. Not listening
Men need to inquire about their date, her interests, and supply them with a safe place to express themselves, and when listening, they need to be genuinely interested in the conversation! It’s OK to talk about yourself IN BITS – look up the definition of conversation and you’ll understand.
Message it sends a woman: This screams that the man is a narcissist, self-absorbed, an egomaniac, a chauvinist, or does not value what the woman is saying, thinking or doing.
How to fix it: Keep yourself in check. If you feel your date is shy, ask her questions – keep her engaged. Allow her the chance to get a word in edge-wise.
Tune in to “The Millionaire Matchmaker” second season premiere on Thursday, February 12 at 10/9c on Bravo. Patti's book "Be Your Own Matchmaker" is in stores now.